1. Getting Paid Regularly
Okay, so you should be getting paid regularly as a freelancer. But in the beginning, maybe not so much. And, of course, there will no longer be such a thing as ‘pay day’ in your life. Admittedly, I really don’t miss my weekly £200 paycheque, because if that was all the money I was getting each week now, I’d still be living with insane people instead of in this blissful one-bed flat with its ridiculous amount of kitchen workspace and its silent-when-I-want-it-to-be living room. But if you came from a corporate background, chances are you’ll make less money freelancing in the beginning than you did at your old job. And oh, wasn’t it nice to know exactly when you were going to get paid and how much?
2. Going Outside
The realisation that you can make money without leaving the house AND have food delivered to you will be mind-blowing at first. ‘I could literally never go outside!’ you’ll shout with glee. Six months later you’ll be peering out your letterbox, eyes wide as you watch the regular folks going about their daily business.
3. Clothes Without Elastic Waistbands
Those sweatpants will feel like a real luxury at first. ‘I’m wearing sweatpants AND I’m making money! DOES LIFE GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS?’ you’ll ask yourself. In the beginning. Then, as the months wear on, and your eyebrows get progressively bushier, your hair progressively greasier and your eyes progressively crazier, you’ll understand that maybe those skinny jeans and shirts weren’t so bad after all.
4. Talking to People
Wait, so you have to work alone now? And you don’t get to hang out with your coworkers every day and talk shit with them? And you will actually miss going in to work sometimes? Yup, ‘fraid so, cookieface. But then you’ll remember that now you can do whatever you want whenever you want, and that if you start to miss it too much, you can just swing by your old workplace and taunt people. The wild eyes and crazy hair will help with this.
5. Seeing People
Not only do you not get to talk to people any more, you don’t even get to SEE them. Unless you open your curtains from time to time, but — c’mon — why would you do that? And no, Skyping doesn’t count. No, not even if you use video.
6. Smelling People
Yeah. You’ll get weird after a few months of not seeing or talking to anyone. On those rare occasions you do venture outside, you’ll catch yourself sniffing the shoulders of enticing passersby. But hopefully THEY won’t catch you, so it’s all fine, really.