I’ve been having a mindfuck all week. Highs, lows, nothings, everythings, what-the-hell-is-going-ons. I still can’t figure out if having higher highs and lower lows is the best part of being an entrepreneur, or the worst part. But it happens. That’s something you should know if you ever decide to start your own business. Don’t forget it: higher highs, lower lows.
So, back to the mindfuck.
I put on my big girl pants and visited an accountant for the first time ever on Tuesday, my head full of vague notions and stupid questions. At the end of that meeting, the accountant asked me if I wanted to go away and think about things before making any decisions. ‘No. I want to do it. I’ve had this feeling for a while that something needs to change, and this is it.’
So it’s happening. Untamed Writing is incorporating and becoming a big fancypants company all of its own. It’s a pretty big step. It’s hard for me to comprehend the magnitude of it, because I’m in it, I’m surrounded by it, but I’m pretty sure it’s a big deal. It’ll mean a separate bank account and lots of paperwork (but that’s what accountants are for, right?) and bigger fees, and all sorts of other terribly grown-up things. But I feel certain it’ll make sense in the long run, and I think it’s the right thing to do.
One of my favourite mantras (maybe my only mantra) is to always do what feels right for me at the time. That way I can never regret any of my decisions.
But then I got ill and stayed in my pyjamas and didn’t leave the house for two days. I didn’t eat for 24 hours, and then I ate nothing but chocolate and crisps and drank Coke and all those other things that make you feel like shit. And so I felt even worse after that. Obviously.
And I missed my physiotherapy gym session on Wednesday. I have a fucked up knee, and if I don’t do these god damn exercises, I will never be able to play sports again. And I LOVE sports. But I didn’t make up for my missed session on Thursday, even though I kinda sorta felt like I could do it. (I could totally have done it.)
Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that I’m launching a course on Monday. And I have a whole bunch of other work to catch up on too, because I’ve been ill. Yay illness!
So yeah. Mind. Fuck. I’ve been sitting around this morning alternately getting pumped up about life and all the incredible things I’m going to do with it, and wanting to crawl back into bed to hide from the overwhelming thing that is life. Life, oh life.
But the thing is, life is happening whether you want it to or not. You’ve just got to keep going forward. If it helps, blot everything else out of your mind, and just remember the little things you need to be doing every day. And then do them, because if you don’t, that’s when you slide into oblivion.
So put on your big girl pants and do what needs doing today. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Just do what you need to do today. If you missed something yesterday, it’s okay. Don’t worry about making up for it. That’s over now, gone, done, whatever. Now today is happening. So just do what you need to do today and things will feel better and less overwhelming and maybe even fucking great.
Highest highs, lowest lows. You’ll go through them both, but you’ll be better at the end of it.
Ha, just kidding. There is no end. Well, apart from death. But this is life, so fucking get on with it.