Writing

What I Read Last Month, feat. smut, booze and sexy robots in space

IT’S BACK! Lost in the great blog blitz of 2017, now it hath returned: the WHAT I READ LAST MONTH column. Sorry, sorry, I’m trying to make it sound grander than it is. Is it working? Basically, I’m going to share with you a list of the books I read each month, along with my thoughts about them, which often have nothing whatsoever to do with the content of the […]

What the Hell Happened in 2017 & What the Hell I’m Going to Do in 2018

February! That’s when you’re supposed to write your review of the previous year and your goals for the current one, right? Yes. Let’s pretend that is why I am only just writing this. Although if you keep reading you’ll probably figure out the real reason. Here’s the short version: nothing went as planned in 2017. I’m going to break this down by analysing my (75% failed, 25% flailed) goals for […]

My 29 Extremely Personal Tips for Surviving Your First Five Years in Business

I quit my job five years ago, two months after making my first income from freelance writing. Sometimes, even now, I have these moments where I’m like, holy fuck, this is my LIFE. I don’t have to rely on anyone else to earn enough money to live. I don’t have to be anywhere at a certain time each day. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do, […]

Why I Don’t Want to Learn to Read Faster, Thanks

Fuck those articles, man. They’re everywhere. You know the ones I mean, right? How to 10X Your Reading Speed and Never Have to Savour a Book Again! I suspect these are written with information gatherers in mind rather than people who read for joy. But still, what the hell? And then there are those ‘reading’ apps that will allow you to gather all the salient points from a book without […]

How to Write Sales Copy That Will Make You Feel Really, REALLY Awful About Yourself

There’s a certain tone of voice some biz owners use in their sales copy that irks the shit out of me. It is the internet marketing equivalent of Chad from the high school track team. I call it Bro Copy. Which according to a friend of mine is not a term I coined, but one he did during a chat we had, so I am going to throw credit over […]

How to Write in a Consistent Tone of Voice When Your Mood Changes ALL THE GODDAMN TIME

You know what your voice sounds like. You write in it every day, after all. (Haha, just kidding. Did I make you feel inadequate by implying everyone else in the world writes every day?) The trouble is, this is a business you’re running here. And you need your voice to come out the same every time you write. You know, so you look consistent and professional. You don’t want to […]

My 2017 Goals: A Quarterly Check-In

I decided to do things differently this year. Rather than slinging together a list of goals – random things it’d be kinda cool to achieve by the end of the year – I chose to focus instead on building up three simple daily practices. The three practices are: writing, reading and exercising. I purposely chose to make them easily doable: Write 400 words a day, no matter what. Paper journalling […]

On Writing: How Much Description is TOO Much?

I started reading Geek Love by Katherine Dunn last year, and god, it was dense. Now, I am not someone who perseveres through books she’s not enjoying. I will dump that shit faster than my boyfriend the day before Valentine’s Day. (Side note: I like the 10% rule. If you’re not interested by 10%, put the book down and move on. Also applies to boyfriends, probably.) But this book had […]

A Life-Changing Mantra for the Unconfident Writer

Are you one of those writers who panics about not being good enough? I’m betting you are. I mean, there’s like an 80% chance that you are. Unless you’re not a writer and are just here for the awesome logo (LOOK CLOSER) and witty repartee, in which case, well, hi, I guess. But back to the 80% – I know you. I’ve met many people like you. The lack of […]

My 2017 Goals

Last year I gave myself a shit-ton of goals. I accomplished precisely three of these in the way I intended: learning how to control my ulcerative colitis through diet alone, exploring more of Scotland, and reading 75 books. This year I’m keeping it simple. These goals are designed to help steer me in the direction I’d like to live my life in. (Wait, can you live your life in ‘a […]