Sell Your Stuff, Not Your Soul
A guide to writing sleaze-free sales pages
to sell your products, courses and services online.
If you want to be able to sell your stuff online, you absolutely must have the right words on the page. Because no level of slick design or badass SEO will help you if, when people land on your site and start reading, they click away before they even contemplate buying from you. Your words matter more than anything else. There are a few ways to get them written up:
1. Hire an expensive, good copywriter
A good copywriter will charge thousands to write a sales page for you. This is fine option if you have the budget for it. But if you’re running a personal brand, a startup, a solo endeavour, or something else that really just means ‘I’m doing this by myself because I’m bootstrapping right now and can’t afford to hire anyone’, this option isn’t much help.
2. Hire a cheap, crap copywriter
A cheap copywriter will almost certainly write a sales page that’s total bollocks and will make you cringe, cry or creep away quietly and pretend this never happened. What they write for you will not help you sell anything. And just to add insult to injury, they’ll write it’s when they really mean its.
3. Hire an expensive, crap copywriter
This is the worst option, obviously. These are the 27-year-old white dudes who are ‘hustling’ on a beautiful island in the Philippines to ‘growth hack’ their businesses by writing copy (I use the term loosely) that will help you CRUSH THE COMPETITION and MAKE A KILLING ONLINE and EXPLODE YOUR SALES, and all that other shit that’ll leave you wondering where you left your nail gun.
4. Hire a cheap, good copywriter
Hahahahahahaha. You’re kidding, right? This does not exist. So, allow me to present your final option, which I’m certain you know is coming:
Learn to Write Good, Effective Sales Copy Yourself
If you don’t want to waste what money you do have on a terrible copywriter, and you can’t justify the expense of a good one yet, the best option left to you is to learn how to write good sales copy yourself. However, writing good sales copy is not easy. Christ, even writing good regular copy isn’t easy.
You could end up writing something that makes you feel shady and gross, because you’re copying techniques you’ve seen elsewhere, so that must be ‘how it’s done’. Or you could end up writing something dull as shit. Or too flowery. Too dense. Too robotic. Nothing that works.
What it all comes down to is this: you need to be able to write in a way that makes people feel something. When they read your words, you want them to come away thinking ‘HOLY SHIT, ARE THEY IN MY BRAIN?’ Well, more to the point, you want them to come away a bundle of cash lighter and a whatever-you-sell heavier. But that’ll only happen if you make them feel like you’ve invaded their brain (er, in a nice way).
I’m guessing you don’t want to waste your time writing something that doesn’t work. So perhaps you’ll be interested in purchasing a guide that’ll walk you through, step by step, everything you need to do to write a sales page that’ll make people hit the Buy Now button.
WELL HI THERE. This is obviously where I come in. If you want to know the techniques I use for writing my own sales pages, which, by the by, have been known to bring me £10,000 inside a month, well, stick around. Because I’m going to try and sell you something that’ll help you do just that.
What This Guide Can and Can’t Help You With
This guide is designed to help you write longform sales pages to help you sell a specific product, course or service. It’s not about how to write regular website copy that makes people fall in love with your brand, or how to write blog posts that attract crowds and subscribers. It is specifically designed to help you sell a thing.
Don’t have a thing to sell yet? If you know you’ll never want to sell anything online, you can stop reading now. But if you think you might? Consider this:
Writing a sales page before you’ve created the thing is the best way to figure out if what you plan to sell is something people will even buy. That way, if nobody pre-orders or signs up to your waiting list, you’ll know that perhaps you shouldn’t pursue this after all. (This is something I do EVERY TIME I have an idea for something new to sell.)
Who This Guide Can and Can’t Help
To reiterate: writing good sales copy is not easy. But that’s not just because there are certain things you need to say and a certain order you need to say them in (although this is also true).
There are a number of other reasons you might end up with a sales page that accomplishes nothing more than frustrating the shit out of you because goddamnit why isn’t this working? Here are just a few of them:
- You’re trying to sell something nobody actually wants/needs
- Your spelling, punctuation and grammar are … not good
- You’re not quite sure who your thing is even for
- Or you’re trying to make it appeal to EVERYONE, regardless of whether it’s right for them
- You believe in the hard sell, and by god are you prepared to irritate the shit out of everyone until they fork over their cash
I can help you figure out most of those problems, except for that last one. I like to think this goes without saying, but just in case: this guide is geared exclusively towards people who just cannot with all those sleazy sales pages you see out there.
Instead, I’m going to show you how to do this without splattering ‘PROVEN RESULTS’ across the page seventeen-thousand times, and without resorting to cringeworthy ‘if-you-don’t-buy-me-now-you’ll-regret-it-forever’ tactics like bullshit countdown timers and pop-ups that scream at you if you try to leave the page without buying anything.
It’s for you if you:
- Believe in what you have to offer the world
- Want to sell your stuff in a way that doesn’t make you feel sleazy or underhanded
- Just want something that works and can follow step by step without having to fry your brain wondering whether you’re doing this right or not
Essentially, if you like my style, you will like this guide. Have you enjoyed reading this sales page? That’s a good sign, because this guide is going to show you how to recreate something similar for your own products, courses and services.
What You’ll Get with This Guide
This comes in the form of three rather dashing PDF guides, for your easy-reading pleasure.
The first PDF will teach you everything you need to know and do before you can start writing your sales page. That includes things like:
- How to be sure you’ve got something worth selling
- How to figure out what will make people WANT what you’re selling
- How to avoid the in-your-face, overbearing hard sell
- How to write in a conversational tone that makes people like and trust you (and how to do it without waffling on for six lifetimes)
- A checklist to help you avoid the most common grammar mistakes people make (because it’s harder to trust you when you don’t know where that apostrophe goes)
- Information and ideas about how to price whatever you’re selling
- How to make your sales page LOOK good (as a writer, I begrudgingly admit that design is also important, but not as important, as the writing)
- My own personal tips for the writing process, to help you sidestep the overwhelm that comes with writing something long and important
- Some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from selling things online
The second PDF will show you how to actually write the sales page. A template, if you will. Including:
- The specific elements you need to include
- The order you need to include them in, so your copy flows logically – aka how to open your page, how to close it, and what to do in the middle
- Explanations of why your copy needs to be written in this order
- Questions to ask yourself to help get the right information on the page
- How to write a strong headline
- How to write a strong CTA (aka call to action, aka the bit where people buy from you)
- A bonus resources section about the specific software I use for selling my own stuff
The third PDF will be a checklist containing all the elements needed to write a damn good sales page – so you have something easy to refer to and don’t have to go back through the more in-depth PDF every time you decide to write a new sales page.
Get Sell Your Stuff, Not Your Soul Now
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Just give it a quick check, then you can hit continue and you’ll be taken straight to PayPal.
Once you’ve made your purchase, the materials will be emailed to you instantly (to the same email address you use for PayPal).
If nothing arrives after an hour, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll sort it out for you.