The Fundamental Differences Between the Employed and the Self-Employed

Employed:
‘Oh god, it’s only 10am.’

Self-employed:
‘Oh thank fuck, it’s only 10am.’

Employed:
‘SWEET, IT’S 5PM.’

Self-employed:
‘Oh Jesus Christ, how is it 5pm already?’

Employed:
There is only so much you can earn.

Self-employed:
There is no limit to how much you can earn. Bonus points for getting to decide your own hourly rate.

Employed:
One person is in charge of your entire wage packet.

Self-employed:
Your income comes from multiple sources, and you get to decide what they are. Offering services, creating products, teaching courses, speaking, putting on events, writing books, becoming an affiliate, ALL OF THE ABOVE?

Employed:
Have to start work when the boss says.

Self-employed:
Have to start work when the boss says. But that’s cool, because the boss is you.

Employed:
HOUR-LONG COMMUTE, UGH.

Self-employed:
Commute from one room to another. (Unless you rent an office… but I guess you get to decide where the office is. Protip: Don’t make it an hour’s drive away from your home, silly.)

Employed:
Relax at home.

Self-employed:
THINK ABOUT WORK ALWAYS, ESPECIALLY WHEN AT HOME. WHICH IS WHERE YOU DO MOST OF YOUR WORK ANYWAY.

Employed:
See people on a daily basis. Feel relieved to get back to a peaceful home in the evenings.

Self-employed:
Must make a special effort to see people. Pounce on friends and family, and squeeze them a little too hard.

Employed:
Excellent at having normal, everyday conversations.

Self-employed:
Get a bit weird and stare-y after not having seen anybody for several days. Speak in one-word sentences or ramble on continuously without pause when you finally do encounter an actual person.

Employed:
Go outside every day.

Self-employed:
Marvel over the fact that you could literally never ever leave the house. Do everything over the internet, including ordering groceries.

Employed:
Clothes.

Self-employed:
Pyjamas.

Employed:
Live life based on the decisions of others.

Self-employed:
Live life based on what YOU believe is the best way of doing things. Do whatever you want, whenever you want.

Get Cash & Adoration ⤸
I've got 5 instant copy fixes with your name on (if your name is 'I want people to love me and buy my crap', that is).
I only send hilarious, addictive, frankly brilliant emails.